An adult you know has been arrested for their sexual behaviour

There are lots of people available to support you. Thinking carefully about who you talk to about what has happened can help make sure you get the best support and advice for you. Think about who is in your network – is there a parent or carer, relative or professional you feel comfortable talking to?  

There are also lots of organisations that can support. Remember, you don’t have to deal with this on your own.  

We know young people and their families often worry about whether anyone might find out about what’s happened and how they might react. The police and social services will do everything they can to keep your information private. If this is something you’re worried about, remember, there are lots of people you can talk to, to get support. We know it can feel really scary, but it’s important that you talk about what has happened and your feelings, to avoid bottling things up. 

Below, you can read Deana’s reflections on how this affected her and how she was able to cope:  

“Worries started to flood my mind. Are people going to treat us differently? What will people think of us?  I started living in fear. Managing these feelings was difficult. The situation is unusual from any other experience I had. 

Knowing all of the supports and services that were in place to help me made a massive difference. School counselor, school guidance teacher, Shore, Mum.  Understanding that I wasn’t alone in this and having many different ways to get support I needed helped a lot. 

Sometimes, talking to people is tough. A technique that helped me through this was journaling. Being able to express my feelings, emotions and worries without the pressure of other people or the fear of being judged made a huge difference. Everyone’s healing journey looks different – obstacles will come but they will also pass.” 

If you’d like to learn more about the techniques Deana used to cope, check out our workbook. 

Whether you are able to see the person who has been arrested will depend on if they have any bail conditions that prevent them from having contact with you.

If social services are involved, they may also be concerned about whether it’s safe for you to see the person who’s been arrested, so they may want to complete an assessment.

If you or anyone in your family are under 18, social care might become involved. This means that you will be given a social worker and they may want to complete an assessment to make sure you’re safe and look at what support you might need.  

The outcome of this assessment will depend on what the concerns are. If the social worker is worried about your safety or wellbeing, they may work with you and your family to think about if any changes are needed at home. Meeting with your social worker can really help you feel understood and supported, especially when things get tough or confusing. 

The social worker may also speak to someone at your school to make sure they can support you through this situation. 

If an adult in your life has been arrested for their sexual behaviour, this means that the police are investigating whether they have committed a crime. The police will usually take away any devices (phones, tablets, computers) in the person’s home to examine them. This may include devices that belong to other people they live with.

The police may want to take them to the police station for an interview, to help them decide the next steps. They might put restrictions (called bail conditions) on what the adult can do during the investigation. These restrictions will depend on what the police are investigating, but could include:

• Restricted or supervised contact with anyone under the age of 18
• Rules about where the person can live
• Rules about who they can contact

This means that they may have to make some changes to where they’re living whilst the investigation takes place. The bail conditions may also impact whether you can see them, and your contact may need to be supervised by a safe adult.

The investigation may take a long time, especially if devices are being checked. Once the investigation is finished, there are lots of different outcomes the police could decide on. This depends on the concern they are investigating and the evidence.

The police could decide not to take any more action if they:

• decide no crime has been committed
• don’t have enough evidence
• don’t think it’s in the public interest to charge them

In these cases, the police will end their investigation, and the bail conditions will end.

If the adult is charged, there are lots of different possible outcomes, depending on the crime. Their solicitor is there to support them. If you have any questions about what might happen next, it is really important that you talk to an adult you trust.

If an adult in your life has been arrested for their sexual behaviour, it’s likely that you have lots of questions and worries running through your head. Sometimes young people can even feel responsible for what’s happened – but remember, it’s not your fault. You are not responsible for other people’s behaviour.

You may feel upset, angry or betrayed. You may also feel worried about the person who has been arrested or other people involved, and what might happen next. Juggling these feelings can be overwhelming.

There are lots of great techniques to help you cope with these feelings on our ‘managing difficult emotions’ page.