Your questions, answered

It’s normal to have questions if you’re worried about yours or someone else’s sexual behaviour. Here are some answeres to questions from our users.

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You can submit a question to be answered, we won’t be able to post all questions, but if we think it’s something lots of young people want to know, we will share our response.

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What happens if other people, like my friends, find out about what I have done?

We know that the possibility that other people may find out about what has happened can be worrying. You may have a lot of ‘what if’ questions going round your mind – these can be distressing and make it hard to see the ‘bigger picture’.

It is important to try and focus on the here and now, taking each day as it comes. You might find trying a grounding exercise or breathing technique helpful – you can learn more about these on our managing difficult emotions page. It is may also be helpful to talk to a trusted adult about how you are feeling. This could be a parent, carer, grandparent, aunt, uncle or teacher.

You can contact us by using our email service to talk about what you are going through and how you are feeling.

If you need more support, check out our other helpful organisations page.

I am scared to tell my family about what has happened, can you help me?

We understand that you may be feeling nervous or scared to tell your family about what has happened. You may be worried about what they may say or how they might react.

Every family is different and we know that talking to your family about what has happened may not be simple. Having the support of a trusted adult is really important – they can be there to listen, talk and help you find the right help. Think about who you feel close to and trust – perhaps a parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle. Try to plan what you are going to say and pick a time where you will be able to talk to them calmly and privately, without being interrupted.

If you are struggling to think about who you can talk to or how to go about it, you can speak to us anonymously on our email service.

You can also read more about opening up to your family on the Young Minds website.

I’ve got into trouble for my sexual behaviour and now I’m worried about my future. Can you help me?

Living with uncertainty about the future can be stressful and scary. You are not alone – we are here to support you and guide you through this process. Young people who have got into trouble for their sexual behaviour can go on to live happy and successful lives, even if the police have been involved. Try not to think too far ahead, focus on the here and now and take one day at a time. If you are struggling, we have some simple strategies you could try to help you manage difficult emotions.

You can also get help or support with any worries you may have by using our email service anonymously. The person you’re contacting won’t know who you are. You can also contact other organisations who support young people who are struggling with their feelings.

I’ve got into trouble for my sexual behaviour, will I have to leave school?

If you have got into trouble for your sexual behaviour you may be feeling worried about what this means for you at school. What happens next will depend on your behaviour and your school’s policies. It is important that you, your parents or carers and the professionals at your school work together to make plans that keep everyone involved safe. You may not have to leave school, but the professionals at school may need to complete a risk assessment and a safety plan, which will look at how you and others in school can be kept safe.

You can use our email service anonymously to talk more about your situation or check out other helpful organisations page to find out where else you can get support.

How can you help me change my sexual behaviour?

You are likely feeling a mix of emotions about your behaviour and what you may have done. You may be unsure if you have caused harm to someone else or yourself. We can talk together, to understand what has happened and why. We can help you set goals, which you can work towards to help change your behaviour.

We also can help you develop a safety plan and put boundaries around yourself to prevent you getting into trouble again.

Finally, we can help you focus on creating and building a positive life to move forward, be happy and achieve success. If you want to read more about this and learn how to set yourself goals, this can be found on our page, building a good life.

If you feel ready to talk to us, you can use our email service. The person you’re contacting won’t know who you are.

We also encourage you to speak with someone you are close to and who is a safe, trusted adult about what has happened and how you are feeling. You can also look at our pages which help support you with what to do if you have harmed someone sexually, or online sexual behaviour.

I’m in trouble with the police for my sexual behaviour, what will happen to me?

You may feel worried and upset that you have got into trouble with the police. We can help support you with your situation.

When a person is in trouble with the police there can be different outcomes, depending on your individual situation, including your age and the behaviour you carried out. Every situation is different and if you would like help to understand more about this and speak to someone privately, you can use our email service. The person you’re contacting won’t know who you are.

Check out our page on what to do if you’re in trouble with the police to learn more about this topic. It can be difficult or feel overwhelming to read about the police and legal processes, so we encourage you to get the support of a safe, trusted adult you are close to when looking at this information.

It also is really important that you look after yourself and get help if you need it. You can get support from Young Minds, Kooth or Childline. You can also look at our pages on dealing with regrets about harmful sexual behaviour and managing difficult emotions to find out more about how to manage any difficult feelings you may have.

Will anyone know I have contacted you?

This website is completely anonymous, which means you don’t have to give us any identifying information like your name, date of birth or address. Your information is kept private and is not shared with others.

This website site does not record any details that identify individual users. This means that if you use our anonymous chat or email service, the person you’re contacting won’t know who you are and your information is kept safe. Find out more about how our chat and email service works here. You can also submit a question to us and if we think it is something other young people want to know, we will share our response.

It is important for you to know that if you do decide to give us identifying details (like your full name or contact details), and you tell us something that makes us worried that you are going to hurt yourself or someone else, we have a responsibility to pass this information on. We will have to send the information shared to the relevant authorities (such as social services) so that everyone, including you, is kept safe from harm.

What do I do if someone’s shared a sexual picture of me or someone I know online?

If you’re under 18 and someone has shared a sexual picture of you or a friend, let an adult know immediately so that they can support you. Childline and IWF’s Report Remove tool is here to help young people under 18 confidentiality report sexual images and videos of themselves to see if they can be removed from the internet.
This can be a distressing and uncertain time, so it’s important that you take care of your mental health and make sure that you have the support of your friends and family. Visit Young Minds for more advice and tips on how to cope during difficult times.